Hey curvy girls all over the world,
Today I bring up a topic that seems to be an ongoing debate in the plus size community. Using the word FLATTER around a confident plus size woman can either garner praise or an evil eye. I have always wanted to discuss this topic on the blog but held back on it. There has always been this semi divide in the plus size community as to whether or not plus size women should dress to flatter their shape or say F*ck flattering. Back in 2011, plus size designer Gisela Ramirez revved up the plus size community with her campaign “F*ck Flattering!” (photo above) She had Tumblr blazing with photos of plus size women rocking her boldly stated cropped t-shirt. This year, it seems that there is an influx of plus size women and style bloggers who believe in the opposite. They believe that plus size women should wear clothes that flatter their shape.
Yesterday, I published an outfit with the title, “How to Hide a Tummy and Still Embrace Your Curves (read here) One of my Twitter followers had an issue with the word “Hide” her exact comment read, “Surely we should be proud & flaunt what we have instead of hiding these things?” At first, I took offense to her comment because, I felt clearly she doesn’t read my blog to interpret that I am telling plus size women to hide their bodies. You all know I preach the opposite message. After reading her comment numerous times, I realized I should have used the word flatter rather than hide. The point I was trying to make with that outfit and article was that sometimes as plus size women there are parts of our bodies that we do wish were a little smaller or more toned. I was speaking about my stomach and how I like to wear flattering things to hide the bulge that it sometimes gives. I wasn’t trying to say hide my body, I was saying I am embracing my plus size apple shape but when it comes to my gut, I like to flatter it. My gut will always be here so I truly can’t hide it. I rather work with it.
The stigma behind the word flattering is poignant on what you shouldn’t wear. Now, in my own personal opinion, I have to say when it comes to flattering your body, I say to each their own. I don’t say that to play both sides of the fence but I say that because as plus size women we have taken different journeys in getting to a point where we are truly loving our bodies. When you’ve been told what not to wear because of your size, you get to a point where you do say, F that. I wear what I want to wear. However, for many, once they learn to love their bodies and find out what honestly works best for their shape, they lean more towards what’s flattering.
I also believe that we don’t have to abide by fashion rules like don’t wear horizontal stripes or crop tops. I believe, I know, and have proven that plus size women can wear everything they are told not to as long as they find what shape, silhouette in a particular style works for their shape. Checkout our “Breaking all the rules” movement.
At the end of the day, It’s your prerogative to wear what you want to wear. The most important thing is to accept and love the skin your in and to teach and show other women to do the same.
Now, I pose the question to you:
Are you for flattering your plus size shape?
I don’t think people need to split hairs. Sometimes a protruding tummy does not help the overall image of your outfit. A thin woman may feel the same way about her protruding hips on her otherwise slim straight body. In both situations, we want to flatter, balance, create proper proportion. Flattering didnt just come around with plus sized women started being fashionable. Any woman strives to wear clothes that flatter her assets, thin or thick. Silly argument imo, nothing offensive was said in that article
THIS RIGHT HERE: “A thin woman may feel the same way about her protruding hips on her otherwise slim straight body. In both situations, we want to flatter.” Every woman – regardless of size – has things she is self-conscious about on her body. I used to believe that this was just a problem for “fat girls” but in shopping with my slimmer friends, I see that they, too, work to find pieces that might camouflage parts of their bodies that they do not favor. No matter who you are, what your size, or what you where, you should always seek to accentuate the positives and eliminate (or at least minimize!) the negatives. That’s not a fat girl problem…it’s a fashionable girl problem.
I have noticed that if you can wear under 14 and have skinny arms/legs, no one seems to parse your choices nearly as much(and I feel that for a lot of non-black people, skinny arms/legs are the metric they use to judge someone skinny). I have several friends/acquaintances who have very large stomachs but wear small sizes. I’m in a fitness class where people wear spandex gear and many of the “small’ women have big bellies and back rolls. In some cases, b/c they wear things that hide them, I thought a couple of them were a few months pregnant (but know not to ask for this very reason). They weren’t.
So it’s not just a fat girl problem.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with dressing to flatter your body type. To each his own! I personally don’t feel comfortable with my gut out and my boobies on display, even though some may say my gut is beautiful or my breasts look great. It’s about how you FEEL in the clothes that matters. I personally believe that when I look good, I feel good. So I dress for that! Alissa I don’t think anything was wrong with your blog post title. People are just very sensitive when it comes to body image, so you have to let them be.
I generally dress to flatter my shape (apple-ish), and I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m definitely not hiding the fact that I’m fat (the word I choose to use). I also don’t see anything wrong with saying eff flattering, I wear what I want. To each her own, live and let live. And I don’t mind seeing posts on how to flatter certain body types, so keep it coming. Thanks!
I’m all for flattering my body type. Yes I’m fat and I obviously have flaws, but I like to show off my best assets when I”m getting dressed not place focus on the things I’m currently in the gym working on. I don’t think u have to wear tent clothes or dress in boring colors when flattering your body type you can definitely wear bright colors and bold prints in fabrics that accentuate the good things. There is a very thin line between confidence and delusion and I try to stay as honest with myself as possible when I look in the mirror if I know something doesn’t work for my body.
The simple fact is that someone likes what you have on; somebody doesn’t. Somebody is impressed with your body; somebody isn’t. What matters is how you feel. If you have the confidence to wear it wear it. Hiding your (insert body part) is fine if it allows you to be comfortable and confident in your own skin. As long as your head is high and your hands are free from tugging at your clothes…
Anywho, it is about the person. If hiding, flattering, accentuating body parts makes that person accept herself/himself, then it is necessary.
Keep posting this kind of stuff if you want to. Don’t feel the need to justify it either. By posting that, you support a part of the plus sized community that may feel overlooked. It is empowering to those who may be on a journey to developing the confidence that you already have.
There are plenty of women who wear straight sizes who still don’t have the most toned or shapely bodies. I see women everyday who aren’t flattering their bodies but all of the criticism/advice is directed at people who have to shop in the plus section. I have friends who wear very small sizes but basically look pregnant all of the time and for some reason they don’t get criticized when their bellies are obvious.
I personally take issue with the idea that it’s only plus-sized women who need to pay attention to thes thing, b/c I see lots of women who wear under 14s who still have love handles, obvious bellies, or cellulite, and no one seems to advise them on “flattering” their bodies b/c I find there is a tendency to assume that ‘larger size’=worse figure. They get a “skinny” pass even when they aren’t shapley or toned.
Really, a lot of people’s basic body types don’t change when they lose a lot of weight, so the fat girl who is an apple is still an apple (as in lacking a waistline) when she wears under 14.
You have a nice hour glass figure and a lot of women who wear smaller sizes do NOT have the same proportions that you do and never will. There are things you can wear as an hourglass shaped women that some apple-shaped size 8’s should never touch. So I’d say take credit wear credit is due.
I’d just like the honesty about body types and shapes to extend to women of all sizes.